05.23.96
The Angel Who Inspired AngelAID
by Arlene and Carl Shipley
For over 18 years, we had been praying for a family. And when the telephone call finally came, we were expecting a warm, cuddly baby. Instead, God’s plan for us was a miracle - a miracle that just happened to come in the package of an angry, 70 pound, 9-year-old African- American girl with AIDS. We thought we were offering this wounded child a safe home. Little did we know she would take up residence in our hearts.
Tashia was a scared little girl who didn’t know who God was. She was believed to be the first child in Florida (and one of the first in the nation) to have contracted the HIV virus through sexual abuse.
Newspaper articles and government reports show that the abuse began as early as 2 years of age with her first sexually transmitted disease. Even though we had to spend a tremendous amount of time and effort on Tashia’s clinical/nursing care, true healing was accomplished by the spiritual influences of the many loving people who touched her life during our two years with her.
The word “AIDS” has such a power to cause fear, and Tashia had lived for 9 years in fear, so we only told her she had “bad blood.” We never lied to Tashia, so she also knew that she had a disease that would never go away, a disease that she could die from if she didn’t eat and take her medicine.
And with a T-4 count of zero, Tashia had to take countless medications each day. So we made it a game, cheering when she finished taking ten syringes of medicine - by herself.
Our child made so much difference in our lives. We were told that she would only live a few short months, so we spoiled her terribly at first. But we gladly modified her behavior when it became obvious that Tashia would decide when it was time to “go see God.”
A party every month, two over-whelming Christmases, a bedroom we called “Toys R Tashia,” but Tashia just wanted to be a normal little girl - and have a mommy and daddy she could trust. We tried to give her everything within our power - but without even trying, or knowing, she gave us constant (and still) unfolding miracles.
She could not read or write, nor did she understand the concept of God. Arlene spent countless hours each day and night working with Tashia. Tashia’s prayers became: “Thank you, God, for Mommy and Daddy. Thank you, God, for Grandma. Thank you, God, for my playroom. Thank you, God, for all of my animals . . .” and on and on. Tashia was not a statistic, or a number.
Tashia was a real person, a child who just wanted to BE a child - to be loved. She was beginning to heal, only to be dying. She was blossoming into a beautiful little girl who was allowing herself to become the innocent little girl God intended. This child who hid in closets out of fear, learned to trust anyone - she did not know a stranger. So we protected her form the pain that outsiders could cause - the rejection and fear that so many people with AIDS are forced to endure.
We had so many good times talking with Tashia - but how do you teach a child to live, while preparing her to die? How do you answer such questions as: “What does God look like? What is Heaven life? Why did the bad mens hurt me?” Tashia was afraid that she wouldn’t know how to get to Heaven.
Arlene replied, “Tashia, I’ve never been there, but I think that one day you will be so tired, that you will ask God to take you to Heaven. You will close your eyes, Mommy will be holding your hand, and you will go to sleep. You won’t feel anything, and when you wake up, you won’t hurt ever again, your body will be healed and GOD will be holding your hand.”
Tashia piped up, “I want to go to heaven in a spaceship!” She loved Star Trek! So we told her that we were sure that if she asked, God would take her to Heaven in a spaceship. She smiled and relaxed. Relaxing was hard for Tashia; she was allergic to all of the opiates and only had prayer and meditation and massage for her pain.
We believe that Tashia got her ride on that spaceship - with a huge smile on her face. In the hospital, Tashia adopted us six hours before she died. She looked up at Arlene from her hospital bed and said, “Mommy, I hurt so bad; I want to see God. Help me die.”
We knew that there was only one thing holding Tashia her: she was afraid that if she wasn’t Tashia Shipley, we wouldn’t be able to find her in heaven. Man’s laws said that we couldn’t adopt her - but GOD’s laws said Tashia could choose. So we called our priest and witnesses and had a sacred adoption around her bed. We will never know a prouder moment than the day Tashia chose us as her mommy and daddy “for ever-and-ever.”
A little later, in terrible pain, she perked up and wanted a “party.” So we unhooked her from the monitors and wheeled her to the hospital snack shop where, to our surprise, she ordered grape soda and “tayta” chips, taking only a small bite/sip of each. She had NEVER ordered grape soda - she loved her Pepsi.
Tashia was doing so well, so we went home that night to catch up on some rest. For the last time, we joined her in prayers, and heard her say: “If I should die before I wake.” We said our goodnights. Tashia told us she loved us and Arlene asked, “How much?” As usual, Tashia replied, “Clear to God and back.”
The next morning, as we were leaving the house to return to the hospital, we received a telephone call that Tashia had died. Her respiration had gone from normal to zero - one moment to the next. Upon arriving at the hospital, Tashia’s hand was open and she had the biggest smile on her face, a smile we hadn’t seen for quite a while.
We have no doubt that Tashia chose the moment she would see God! This memory will never leave us. A few days later, we not only realized that she had “bread and wine” - her last communion of grape soda and chips -she had also chosen to be with God exactly two years TO THE DAY that God had given her to us.
Tashia’s two years with us were a celebration of LIFE. We never treated her like a “sick” child; we acted as though her medical needs were normal. And because we focused on the LIFE she could cram into each new day, so did she. All the wonderful, happy times this child was able to experience, even with her bad blood, were an absolute gift to all of us who had the privilege of participating.
Many times we see a person with AIDS or any life threatening illness through clinical eyes but forget their spiritual and emotional needs. How a person is treated has a definite impact, positively or negatively, on the quality and duration of their life. A holistic program and people reaching out in unconditional love worked hand-in-hand to help Tashia live far beyond expectations.
AngelAID, a non-profit organization for children with ANY life threatening disease or situation (homeless, abused, etc.) Was formed in Tashia’s memory. We love and miss her to thisday just as if it were yesterday - instead of two years this week (3/10/94).
Tashia’s short life and needless death will not be forgotten; her story is still being told over and over. And her lessons and miracles are expanding. What a gift she was to all of us!
